Death by Knee on the Belly

There are some days where training feels like one big massacre. Especially when I'm going up against the big guys (which is practically everybody in my case). Last night, Anjo kept on trying to choke me as I assumed the turtle guard and I was able to defend it. However, being stronger and heavier and whatnot, he kept on squeezing, trying.. and then finally, I got him off my back and unfortunately, let him have my arm. After that spar, my eyes were bloodshot. Bulging, even. I walked around the mat in a daze and plopped down to explain to Anjo why that choke would not work and then showed him how to do the Bow and Arrow choke, which for me, is quite effective.

I still wasn't feeling all that great but I decided to spar with Marc, one of the new purples. I started off trying to play guard but it wasn't working, so I tried to pass him. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful (hence Marc = purple belt, me= 2 stripe white belt). In fact, I was so unsuccessful that Marc was able to keep the knee on the belly position for about 4 mins (Marc weighs almost 160 lbs). Mig was just waiting for me to tap but I didn't. In fact, I was able to get him off by doing the basic escape from knee on the belly but to no avail. Marc got me again. At that point, I just gave up and then let him have my arm. Again, I gave up. I was surprised that I didn't burst into tears from the knee on the belly. It hurt so much, but I was able to withstand the pain. I went home, feeling quite useless and injured. I couldn't sleep much, kept on tossing and turning. Kept on thinking about my spars and the intense pain in my ribs and back. And yet, I'm going back to training tonight. I just hope the lighter guys will be there today.